Essay 1 Feedback

In my essay I will eliminate broad declarations of saying the world has changed completely. Just because different genres of music are slightly different than they were in the past does not mean that things have changed very drastically. Also I will rewrite examples where I compare two genres of music that have nothing to do with one another. There are more specific examples of how I can write about the way things changed for me personally and assume that the changes that occurred personally for myself are not true for the rest of the world who come from different circumstance. I will make more of a point to analyze the way I viewed the world based on the music I listened to. There are opportunities for me to improve my essay in many facets and I plan on doing so! ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()